March 2013
1 post
Finding Meaning in Your Apocalypse (Preparation...
Hello, dedicated, loyal readers (all five of you). I apologize for my long absence. As you may have noticed, this blog is titled ‘Zombie2012’, because of all of the irrefutable evidence that December 2012 would be the end of the world and the beginning of the reign of the undead. As I waited with bated breath in my Aunt’s living room in Wales, watching the sun set in North...
October 2011
1 post
February 2011
8 posts
4 tags
Day 673: What is Zombie? (Baby Don't Hurt Me,...
The most wrath I’ve ever earned from my roommate Celia was the night I came up with my idea for a Zombie/Human love story (I’ve decided to write a Trilogy, to be called collectively “The Hunger Pain Trilogy”: Tiffany for Breakfast, Guess Who’s Coming to be Dinner, and The Last (Human) Supper. Of course, in accordance with the reference to Christianity in its title,...
4 tags
Day 674: Are you there, Zombie? It's me, Margaret.
Yes, that’s right. You’ve probably guessed what this post will be about. If you haven’t, you are probably male and should run away now, because what I’m about to cover is more taboo and *cough* bloodier than any Zombie movie to date.
That’s right: Menstruation.
It amazes me that as a society, we are comfortable with the idea of human civilization as we know it...
2 tags
Day 8/678
Recently, in my never-ending quest to find a way to make a living off my mediocre writing abilities, I considered writing a Twilight-esque love story between a zombie and a human. It’s proving more problematic than I thought, because even Robert Pattinson would not be attractive as a classic zombie….but this video gives me hope :) Plus, if Stephanie Meyer can make vampires sparkle, I...
5 tags
Day 4/681: The Z-Team
Probably the single most important step I can take to survive the Apocalypse is to assemble a team of people who can do all the shit I can’t. These loyal and proud few will accompany me around the world righting the wrongs of the Zombie takeover and making up cool catchphrases that the later generations can put on T-Shirts. I can see it now.
In 1972 2012, a crack commando unit was sent...
3 tags
Day 3/683
I woke up briefly this morning at 9 am a bit like a zombie myself. I sat up violently, my arms outstretched before me reaching for a glass of water, only to find it was an old cup of tea with bits of floaty mold. Eww. I groaned and collapsed back into bed. I’m pretty sure my roommate Laura saw my ass when she came to see if I wanted to go to the gym but I can’t be sure because I was...
3 tags
Day 2/684
Yesterday I met a nice young man. He is completely off-limits, however, and this is why:
I’ve decided that when the apocalypse begins, the hardest part will be dealing with the loss of beloved friends and family. I am not quite as emotionally hard as I will need to be! I don’t think I could cut off Mitch’s head, even if he were trying to eat me… Luckily, I don’t live...
4 tags
Day 1/685
Today I began my strict workout regimen designed to turn my body into a lean, mean, zombie-killing machine. This consisted of doing 30 crunches, half a push-up, running jogging for 15 minutes and then rowing for 20 minutes. Some non-believer I used to know in the dorms commented that rowing was a terrible zombie skill. Ha! Ignorant fool. Even as brain-dead as zombies are, they will avoid large...
2 tags
The Beginning of the End
I have been told by a redheaded bitch friend that I don’t posses a very strong will to live. Just because I commented that if I were James Franco in 127 Hours I wouldn’t have been able to drink my own piss (if I could find a way to collect it, considering I don’t have a penis) let alone cut off my arm.
Which makes me think: I am from the Los Angeles area, i.e. high maintenance,...
